That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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