He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
