Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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