My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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