New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
