haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
