Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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