dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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