Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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