Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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