I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
