I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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