i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.