I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
