Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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