He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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