I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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