we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
