They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
