He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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