I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
