I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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