i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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