How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
