Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
