All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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