Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
