In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
