Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Enjoy the penises
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize