You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
