I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
