I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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