I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
