You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
