why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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