Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize