Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
