i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
