Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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