And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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