Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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