I think I am morally bankrupt
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
