She's JV to your varsity
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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