I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.