my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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