so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
