My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
