I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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