Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
