I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
