You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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