@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
