I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i black out too much to be "responsible"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
