Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
